Sex Positions With Toys: 9 Ways to Play Together

A toy in bed is not a replacement for anyone. It is a third pair of hands that never gets tired, and the right position puts it exactly where it needs to be while you two stay wrapped up in each other.

Below are the 9 sex positions with toys we recommend most to couples, from easy first tries to slow, teasing favorites. Keep reading for number 9: it starts long before anyone gets undressed.

What Makes a Sex Position Good for Toys?

A sex position is good for toys when it gives someone a free hand, leaves open space between bodies for the toy to sit, and lets the receiver stay relaxed instead of balancing. Side-lying, rear-entry, and on-top positions tick all three boxes, which is why they show up again and again on this list.

Try this: if you only bring one toy to bed, make it a cordless wand massager. Its long handle reaches between bodies in almost any position, and its broad head gives wide, rumbly vibration instead of a tiny buzz you have to aim perfectly. We compared the options couples reach for most in our guide to the best clitoral vibrators for couples.

The other rule is simple: whoever is receiving holds the controls at first. She knows the exact spot and pressure she wants, and once you have found it together, handing over the remote becomes part of the fun.

Why Do Toys Make Sex Better for Couples?

Toys make sex better because most women need direct clitoral stimulation to climax, and intercourse alone rarely delivers it. A toy adds that stimulation without anyone having to contort a wrist or stop moving, so both partners get to enjoy the same moment.

The numbers back this up. In a survey of more than 52,000 US adults, 95% of heterosexual men said they usually or always orgasm during sex, compared with 65% of heterosexual women, and women were more likely to orgasm when sex included manual genital stimulation alongside intercourse (per Frederick and colleagues in Archives of Sexual Behavior). A separate nationally representative study of 2,056 women found vibrator use was common and associated with positive sexual function, with side effects rare (per Herbenick and colleagues in the Journal of Sexual Medicine).

Couples often tell us the biggest change is not the orgasm itself but the pressure that disappears. Nobody is racing to finish first, and nobody is quietly faking. If you want the background on why this works, our guide to sex positions that make her climax goes deeper.

1. Spooning with a Wand

Spooning with a wand is side-lying rear entry where she holds a wand massager against her clit from the front. Both partners lie on their sides facing the same way, he enters from behind, and her top hand is completely free to guide the toy, which makes this the easiest toy position for beginners.

She draws her top knee forward to open the angle and tucks the wand head between her thighs. He wraps an arm around her waist, kisses the back of her neck, and keeps his strokes slow and shallow so the vibration does the heavy lifting. Because nobody holds any weight, you can stay here a long time. For more slow, low-effort ideas, see our list of lazy sex positions.

2. Ring-Boosted Missionary

Ring-boosted missionary is classic missionary with a vibrating ring worn at the base of his shaft. The ring sits right where your bodies meet, so every time he presses in, the vibration lands on her clit, and he feels the buzz too. Nobody needs a free hand at all.

The trick is grinding rather than thrusting. He shifts his body slightly higher up hers and rocks his hips in small circles, keeping constant contact between the ring and her body. A wireless vibrating couples ring with a remote lets her change the setting without breaking eye contact. Our guide to missionary position variations has more ways to remix the classic.

3. Wedge Missionary

Wedge missionary puts a firm wedge pillow under her hips, which tilts her pelvis up and opens a little space between your bodies for a toy. She can hold a wand or finger vibrator against herself while he kneels upright between her legs, and neither of you has to strain to keep the toy in place.

With him sitting back on his heels, he gets a full view and both hands free to hold her thighs. The lift also changes the angle inside, so this position often hits the front wall better than flat missionary. A purpose-made wedge pillow keeps its shape where bed pillows squash flat; we compared the shapes that work best in our guide to the best sex position pillows for couples, and our walkthrough on how to use a sex wedge pillow shows the placements.

4. Cowgirl with a Buzz

Cowgirl with a buzz has her on top, kneeling astride him, while he wears a vibrating cock ring. She controls the angle, the depth and the pressure, so she can grind the ring exactly where it feels best, and the snug fit helps him last longer while she takes her time.

Forget bouncing. Slow forward and back rocks keep the ring pressed against her the whole time. He can hold her hips, trace her stomach, or simply lie back and watch her take over. A vibrating cock ring built for two turns this into a shared climb: you both feel every change of setting at the same moment.

5. Doggy with a Reach-Around

Doggy with a reach-around is rear entry where he reaches under and around her with a small vibrator in his hand. She rests on her forearms or lowers her chest to the bed, which frees his arm to reach her clit, and the combination of depth from behind and buzz in front is intense.

The easiest tool here is a slim finger vibrator: it is small enough to hold without fumbling and precise enough to land on the right spot. If his arm tires, she can take the toy herself and he holds her hips instead. If rear entry is your favorite, our guide to doggy style variations has more angles.

6. Edge of the Bed with a Suction Toy

Edge of the bed with a suction toy has her lying back with her hips at the edge of the mattress while he stands or kneels on the floor between her legs. Her hands are free to hold a suction or air-pulse toy over her clit, and he has full control of the rhythm without blocking the toy.

This is the position for couples who want her to climax during penetration, not before or after. Air-pulse toys feel close to oral sex, and with him moving slowly the sensations stack quickly. A rose suction vibrator fits neatly here; our guide to the best rose toys for couples compares the shapes. It is a toy-friendly cousin of the butterfly sex position.

7. Flatiron over a Wand

Flatiron over a wand has her lying face down with a wand massager tucked under her hips, while he enters from behind and lies over her, supported on his arms. Her body weight presses her onto the toy, so she gets steady, hands-free vibration, and the tight angle feels deep for both of you.

Set the wand to a low setting before you start; with her weight on it, it feels stronger than it would in your hand. A small pillow under her hips stops the toy from rolling away. A dual-head warming wand works well because the broad head spreads the buzz while she grinds. Our full guide to the flatiron sex position covers the basic setup.

8. Lap Lotus with a Remote

Lap lotus with a remote has him sitting upright on the bed or a sturdy chair while she straddles his lap facing him, with a remote-controlled vibrating ring between you. Your chests touch, your faces are inches apart, and the remote passes back and forth as you take turns setting the pace.

This is the slowest, most intimate position on the list. Movement is small, mostly grinding and rocking, which is exactly what keeps the ring in contact. She wraps her arms around his neck; he holds her lower back and pulls her closer with each rock. Couples often tell us that handing over the remote here feels surprisingly intimate. Our guide to the lotus sex position walks through the basic setup.

9. The Remote Tease

The remote tease starts fully clothed: she wears a wearable vibrator under her underwear while he holds the remote, and she straddles his lap on the sofa. He decides when it buzzes and how hard, the kissing gets heavier, and by the time clothes come off, you are both already halfway there.

Here is the promised favorite. The tease can begin at dinner, on the couch, or in the kitchen, with short pulses at unexpected moments. When you finally move to bed, she can keep it on for cowgirl or spooning. A wearable panty vibrator with app and remote control is built for exactly this. We picked our favorites in our guide to the best wearable remote vibrators for couples.

Which Toy Position Should You Try First?

How Do You Bring a Toy Into Bed Without It Feeling Awkward?

You bring a toy into bed by talking about it outside the bedroom first, framing it as something for both of you, and letting your partner try it on you before it ever appears during sex. The goal is curiosity, not a surprise reveal mid-moment.

Three things make the first time easy. Start small: a finger vibrator or a ring feels less intimidating than a large toy. Use it during foreplay before you use it during sex, so you both learn the settings. And say out loud that the toy is a teammate, not a competitor; most partners who hesitate are worried about being replaced. Our guide on using a vibrator with your partner has a step-by-step first night, and our list of beginner clitoral stimulators helps you choose a gentle first toy.

How Do You Keep Toy Sex Easy and Clean?

You keep toy sex easy by charging toys ahead of time, using a water-based lube that is safe with silicone, and keeping everything within arm's reach of the bed. Clean each toy with warm water and mild soap afterward, and let it dry fully before you store it.

A few small habits remove almost all the friction. Keep toys, lube and a towel in one drawer of the nightstand so nobody has to search mid-moment. Lay a waterproof blanket over the sheets so lube and mess never become a reason to hold back. And when you are ready to put everything in one place, our guide on building a couples intimacy kit shows what to include.

Sex Positions With Toys: FAQ

What is the best sex position to use a vibrator in?

Spooning is often the best sex position to use a vibrator in. Both partners lie on their sides, he enters from behind, and her top hand is free to hold a wand or vibrator against her clit, so nobody has to balance or strain while the toy stays in place.

Is it normal to use sex toys with a partner?

Yes. Research on US women found vibrator use is common, including during partnered sex, and is associated with positive sexual function. Many couples use toys to add clitoral stimulation that intercourse alone rarely provides.

What toy should couples try first?

A vibrating couples ring or a small finger vibrator is the easiest first toy for couples. Both are small, simple to use during sex, and add stimulation for her without changing the positions you already enjoy.

Can a vibrator be used during penetration?

Yes. External vibrators such as wands, suction toys and vibrating rings are made to be used during penetration. Positions with open space between bodies, like spooning, cowgirl, edge of the bed and doggy, make it easiest to keep the toy on her clit.

What lube should you use with sex toys?

Use a water-based lube with sex toys. It is safe with silicone, easy to clean, and gentle on skin. Silicone-based lube can damage silicone toys over time, so save it for toy-free sex unless the maker says otherwise.

Final Thought

The best toy positions are the ones that keep you looking at each other, laughing a little, and reaching for each other instead of for the instructions. Pick one position from this list, charge one toy, and let tonight be an experiment you both win. The rest you will figure out together.