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8 Lazy Sex Positions for Nights When One of You Is Exhausted. The Tired One Barely Moves, and One 27° Pillow Does the Holding…

Short answer: The best lazy sex positions let the tired one lie still while the other one does the work, and let a pillow hold the angle. The laziest: a tilted spoon when she's tired, recliner cowgirl when he is, side by side when you both are. All 8, and where the pillow goes:

  1. Her lazy: Lazy Spoon With a Tilt: wedge under her hip.
  2. Her lazy: Face-Down Lazy Dog: wedge under her hips and belly.
  3. Her lazy: Elevated Missionary, Arms Up: wedge under her hips.
  4. Her lazy: Elevated Oral: wedge under her hips.
  5. His lazy: Recliner Cowgirl: wedge behind his back.
  6. His lazy: Reverse Cowgirl, He Lies Back: wedge under his hips.
  7. His lazy: Seated Throne: he sits back against the tall end.
  8. Both lazy: Side-by-Side on the Wedge: wedge under her hip, face to face.

I want to. I'm just so tired.

You've both had that night. One of you is wiped out after a long shift, or a night up with the baby. The other one is in the mood. It ends with a rain check. Again.

One Reddit user said she was sick of sex "being a wholeass work session because it never happens smoothly." Fair. When you're exhausted, holding yourself up on your arms or knees is the last thing you want.

Now compare that to what one wedge owner wrote in a review: "I don't have to work so hard and we can both just be more relaxed and engaged with each other."

Lazy sex isn't bad sex. It's sex that fits the night you actually had. So here are 8 lazy sex positions, labeled her lazy, his lazy or both lazy. For each: who rests, who works, where the pillow goes, and an effort score for each of you.

Every one uses the WildNightX Pillow, a 27° memory foam wedge that holds the angle, so nobody has to.

Why a pillow makes lazy sex easy, according to a sex educator

"Think of them as furniture for your sex life. They hold a position for you so you don't have to burn a hundred calories just staying propped up on your elbows."

Alicia Sinclair, sex educator and founder and CEO of Le Wand, speaking to Cosmopolitan

Note: Read this BEFORE you try lazy sex positions on a flat, soft bed!

BI
Bedroom-Insider Editors
Relationship & Wellness Desk

1. Lazy Spoon With a Tilt

Side by side position with the WildNightX pillow, illustrated
Side by side on the pillow

Her lazy. Our pick for the laziest position on the list. She doesn't even have to open her eyes.

Who rests: her. She lies on her side.

Who works: him, slowly, from behind.

Where the pillow goes: under her hip and waist, so her hips tilt without her doing anything.

Effort: her 1 of 5 · him 2 of 5.

Tip: keep it slow and close. His free arm wraps around her.

2. Face-Down Lazy Dog

Couple on the bed: she lies face down over the WildNightX pillow while he kneels behind her

Her lazy. She lies flat. Her whole body rests on the bed and the foam.

Who rests: her, face down, head on her arms.

Who works: him, kneeling behind her.

Where the pillow goes: under her hips and belly.

Effort: her 1 of 5 · him 3 of 5.

Tip: the grip base stops the pillow from creeping up the bed, so nobody has to stop and fix it.

3. Elevated Missionary, Arms Up

Woman lying back on the bed with the WildNightX pillow under her hips

Her lazy. She lies back, arms up over her head, fully off duty.

Who rests: her.

Who works: him, resting on his forearms.

Where the pillow goes: under her hips and lower back.

Effort: her 1 of 5 · him 3 of 5.

Tip: the lift brings her to him, so his arms don't have to hold her hips up.

4. Elevated Oral, She Just Lies Back

Smiling woman on her back with her hips on the WildNightX pillow and her legs raised while her partner holds them

Her lazy. The laziest one for her. All she does is relax.

Who rests: her, lying back with her knees bent.

Who works: him. The lift brings her to a comfortable height, so his neck doesn't tire.

Where the pillow goes: under her hips.

Effort: her 0 of 5 · him 2 of 5.

Tip: if she wants more later, slide into #3. The pillow is already in place.

Let the pillow do the holding: what turns an easy sex position into a lazy one is not having to hold it. A bed pillow squashes, so somebody ends up holding the angle by hand. The WildNightX Pillow holds a fixed 27° on 60 kg/m³ memory foam rated for 260+ lbs, with a silicone grip base and a soft linen cover. It looks like a throw cushion, so it can live on the bed: no setup when you're tired. Bob N. and his wife didn't wait: "We tried it out the day it arrived and it was everything we hoped it would be. It relieved and eliminated any stress on the back for her."

★★★★★
"Using the pillow makes the angle feel natural and because I'm not moving around, I can concentrate on making the wife feel great and go longer as well."
Vince M., July 20265-star review
★★★★★
"We love ours! It doesn't strain my husband's back!"
Fluffy W., August 20265-star review
★★★★★
"We use this pillow far more frequently than I expected. We are both very pleased!"
Tricia M., June 20265-star review

5. Recliner Cowgirl

Man reclining against the WildNightX pillow as a backrest on the bed

His lazy. He's propped up like he's in a recliner. She's on top and in charge.

Who rests: him, leaning back on the slope.

Who works: her, at her own pace.

Where the pillow goes: behind his back, tall end up.

Effort: him 1 of 5 · her 3 of 5.

Tip: she can lean onto his chest to rest any time. Sex educator Felice Lopez told Bustle, "Wedges are a great aid in the bedroom because they help people maintain a position without expending energy that would be better placed elsewhere."

6. Reverse Cowgirl, He Lies Back

Reverse cowgirl position with the WildNightX pillow, illustrated
Reverse cowgirl on the pillow

His lazy. He lies flat. The pillow sets the angle for him.

Who rests: him, on his back.

Who works: her, on top, facing away.

Where the pillow goes: under his hips.

Effort: him 1 of 5 · her 3 of 5.

Tip: she steadies herself with her hands on his knees and leans forward until it feels right.

7. Seated Throne

Man sitting up on the bed with his back against the raised end of the WildNightX pillow

His lazy. He sits back like it's a throne. She sits in his lap.

Who rests: him, sitting up against the foam.

Who works: her, slowly, face to face.

Where the pillow goes: behind his back, tall end up.

Effort: him 1 of 5 · her 2 of 5.

Tip: his arms are free, so he holds her close while she sets the pace.

8. Side-by-Side on the Wedge

Couple cuddling in bed with the WildNightX pillow and its free blindfold in front of them

Both lazy. For the nights you're both done. The slowest one on the list.

Who rests: both of you, lying on your sides, face to face.

Who works: nobody, really. Small, slow moves.

Where the pillow goes: under her hip, so her hips tilt toward him.

Effort: her 2 of 5 · him 2 of 5.

Tip: it's fine if this one turns into falling asleep together. That still counts.

P.S. Tonight, let whoever is more tired pick the number. Then they get to lie still. No more rain checks.

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WildNightX Pillow Specs at a Glance

  • Angle: fixed 27° lift that holds the whole time
  • Foam: 60 kg/m³ medical-grade memory foam that doesn't flatten
  • Weight rating: 260+ lbs
  • Size: 60 × 40 × 30 cm (23.6 × 15.7 × 11.8 in)
  • Base: silicone grip that stays put on sheets, mattresses and floors
  • Cover: removable linen cover, machine washable
  • Look: contoured shape with a small head pillow on top; passes for a throw cushion
  • Shipping: discreet packaging, no product or store name outside
  • Guarantee: 30-Day Guarantee

Where the WildNightX Falls Short

  • One version: one size and one color (gray), with nothing else to choose from
  • Spills: the cover is only lightly water-resistant, so lay a towel down on messy nights
  • Washing: the cover goes in the washer, but the foam core doesn't
  • Guarantee: 30 days, shorter than some brands advertise, so read the return policy before you order

Lazy Sex Positions FAQ

What is the laziest sex position?

For her, the tilted spoon (#1) or elevated oral (#4). For him, reverse cowgirl with the pillow under his hips (#6). Low effort sex positions all have one thing in common: the tired one lies down, and the pillow holds the angle.

What is an easy position for sex when he's the tired one?

Recliner cowgirl (#5), reverse cowgirl with his hips raised (#6) or the seated throne (#7). He leans back or lies flat, and she sets the pace.

What if only one of us is in the mood?

That's normal. Sex therapist Dr. Stephen Snyder wrote in TODAY: "Desire ordinarily comes and goes in a long-term relationship so if you wait to feel desire before having sex, you might end up waiting a long time." A lazy position makes yes easier for the tired one. And no is always fine too.

Does it work on a soft mattress?

Yes. Cheap wedges are the problem there. One Reddit user wrote about a budget wedge: "Not firm enough. It sinks too much when one us is on it." The WildNightX Pillow is 60 kg/m³ memory foam rated for 260+ lbs, so it keeps its 27° shape, and the silicone grip base holds it on the sheets.

Are lazy positions good for beginners?

Yes. Many of the best sex positions for beginners are lazy ones, because nobody has to balance. If you're looking for the best sex positions for a beginner, start with #3 and #5. Fun easy sex positions, zero balancing.

What sex positions are best when you're both exhausted?

Side-by-side on the wedge (#8) and the lazy spoon (#1). They're fun and easy sex positions to try on the nights you'd usually skip.

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One pillow for all 8 positions: a fixed 27° angle, 60 kg/m³ memory foam rated for 260+ lbs, a silicone grip base and a washable linen cover. Now $124.95 (was $169.95), with a free Blindfold in every box. Bundles add a second free gift, a Leather Handcuff, while gifts last. It ships in discreet packaging with no product or store name outside. Deals change often, so check the product page for today's price.

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