What is the best position for deep penetration for her?

The best sex position for deep penetration, from her side, is one where she controls it: reverse cowgirl with his hips raised (#1) or recliner cowgirl (#2). She's on top, so she sets how deep and how fast.

How do you stop deep from hurting?

Let her set the depth and go slowly. Pick positions with an easy way to ease off, like the ones above. Sex therapist Janet Brito, PhD, told Women's Health it helps to choose positions "that allow each partner to control depth and movement in ways that feel good in their bodies." If it keeps hurting, talk to your doctor.

Does a wedge pillow make it deeper?

Often, yes. One Reddit user asked exactly this: "Does the angle result in increased depth during penetration?" He said they sometimes have to be a bit cautious. The 27° lift tilts her hips, so most positions feel deeper. That's why every position here comes with an ease-off move.

Which deep penetration position is easiest to start with?

Of the deep penetration sex positions above, #3 is the easiest: she lies back and her hands do the steering. Move to #1 or #7 when she's ready.

Will the pillow hold both of us?

Yes. The WildNightX Pillow is 60 kg/m³ memory foam rated for 260+ lbs. It keeps its 27° shape the whole time, and the silicone grip base keeps it from sliding.

The Best Sex Positions for Deep Penetration Are the Ones Where She Sets the Depth. Here Are 7 Positions Where She's in Control, and One 27° Pillow Holds the Angle…

Short answer: The best sex positions for deep penetration, when she wants it deep but on her terms, are the ones where she controls how close you get: she's on top, or her hands, legs or hips do the steering. Our 7, and where the pillow goes:

Reverse Cowgirl, Hips Raised: wedge under his hips.
Recliner Cowgirl: wedge behind his back.
Elevated Missionary, Her Hands on His Hips: wedge under her hips.
Butterfly at the Bed Edge: wedge under her hips, at the edge of the mattress.
Seated Lotus on the Wedge: he sits back against the tall end.
Pillow Doggy, She Rocks Back: her chest rests on the tall end.
Legs-Up Missionary, Ankles on His Chest: wedge under her hips.

Deep can feel amazing. Until one move goes a little too far. Then she stops enjoying it and starts bracing for the next one.

One Reddit user said that for her, "most positions don't work" once it gets too deep. Another Reddit user asked for advice because his partner was the opposite: "she wants as much depth as possible."

For a lot of couples, both are true on the same night. She wants it deep. She just wants to be the one who decides how deep.

So we picked the best positions for deep penetration with one rule: she sets the depth. For each one: how deep it goes, how she controls it, how to ease off, and where the pillow goes.

Every position uses the WildNightX Pillow, a 27° memory foam wedge. It holds the angle, so she can move instead of holding herself up.

Why she should set the depth, according to a sex therapist

"Different anatomy types can make deeper penetration painful"

Shannon Chavez, PsyD, an AASECT-certified sex therapist and licensed psychologist in Beverly Hills, speaking to Women's Health

Note: Read this BEFORE you try the best deep penetration sex positions on a flat, soft bed!

Bedroom-Insider Editors

Relationship & Wellness Desk

1. Reverse Cowgirl, Hips Raised

Reverse cowgirl position with the WildNightX pillow, illustrated — Reverse cowgirl on the pillow

Our pick for the best position for deep penetration when she wants full control. She's on top, facing away, and every inch is her call.

How deep: one of the deepest on this list. The lift tips his hips up to meet her.

Where the pillow goes: under his hips while he lies on his back.

How she sets the depth: she decides how far she sits down. Her hands on his knees steady her.

Ease off: she rises up a little on her knees, or leans forward onto her hands, and stays there.

Tip: he keeps still. The grip base keeps the wedge from creeping while she moves.

See the 27° pillow that lets her set the depth →

2. Recliner Cowgirl, He Lies Back on the Wedge

Man reclining against the WildNightX pillow as a backrest on the bed

The face-to-face version. He's propped up like he's in a recliner. She's on top.

How deep: deep when she sits up straight, gentler when she leans in.

Where the pillow goes: behind his back as a firm backrest, tall end up.

How she sets the depth: she sits up for more and leans forward onto his chest for less. As sexologist Marla Renee Stewart told Bustle, "Being on top means being in control of our pleasure and how we move our bodies."

Ease off: she leans in chest to chest and slows down.

Tip: his hands rest on her waist and follow her. He doesn't push up.

3. Elevated Missionary, Her Hands on His Hips

Woman lying back on the bed with the WildNightX pillow under her hips

The classic, with her hands on the brake. One of the good positions for deep penetration to start with.

How deep: medium to deep. The lift tilts her hips, so it goes deeper than flat missionary. One person wrote in a review of a hip wedge, "The elevation of my wife's hips made an insane difference."

Where the pillow goes: under her hips and lower back, tall end toward the foot of the bed.

How she sets the depth: her hands on his hips. She pulls him closer, or holds him where she wants him.

Ease off: she presses gently on his hips and he follows. Or she lowers her legs flat to the bed.

Tip: agree on one word, like easy, that means slow down. No questions asked.

4. Butterfly at the Bed Edge

Woman lying back with her hips on the WildNightX pillow while her partner stands beside the bed and supports her leg

The standing one. She lies back at the edge of the bed. He stands.

How deep: deep. The lift brings her hips up to his height, and her legs are raised.

Where the pillow goes: on the edge of the mattress, under her hips.

How she sets the depth: her legs rest against his chest or shoulders. Pulling her knees in brings him closer. Pressing her feet against him holds him back.

Ease off: she lowers her legs and wraps them around his waist. That's a softer angle.

Tip: a bed pillow slides off the edge here first. The silicone base keeps the wedge on the mattress.

Why a fixed angle gives her control: the best deep penetrating sex positions only work if the angle stays put. A bed pillow squashes as she moves, so the depth changes on its own. With the angle set, she changes the depth by moving, not by holding herself up. The WildNightX Pillow holds a fixed 27° on 60 kg/m³ memory foam rated for 260+ lbs, and its silicone grip base keeps it in place. One reviewer, Sarah H., gave it five stars: "It works great! I love how it put my hips at different angle!"

★★★★★

"My wife felt very comfortable using it. … She reached orgasm twice and did not experience any pain or discomfort at all."

Faisal A., November 2026Verified buyer

★★★★★

"the angle is just right! We use this pillow far more frequently than I expected. We are both very pleased!"

Tricia M., June 20265-star review

★★★★★

"[This pillow] is a game changer, and a welcomed addition to the bedroom it's not cheaply made and actually supports your body"

J.R. E., June 20265-star review

See the pillow behind all 7 positions →

5. Seated Lotus on the Wedge

Man sitting up on the bed with his back against the raised end of the WildNightX pillow

Slow, close and face to face. For nights she wants close more than deep.

How deep: medium. She has the most control here of anything on the list.

Where the pillow goes: behind his back, tall end up, while he sits.

How she sets the depth: she sits in his lap facing him, legs around him, and rises or settles on her knees.

Ease off: she rises up a little and rocks instead.

Tip: he leans back into the foam, so both arms are free to hold her.

6. Pillow Doggy, She Rocks Back

Smiling woman on her knees over the WildNightX pillow with her partner behind her

From behind, the angle goes deep fast. This version puts her in charge of it.

How deep: deep. That's exactly why she leads.

Where the pillow goes: under her chest and arms, while she kneels with her chest on the tall end.

How she sets the depth: he kneels still. She rocks back toward him as far as she wants, and no further.

Ease off: she rocks forward onto the foam. Sexologist Jess O'Reilly, PhD, told Women's Health that "you might find that the angle of doggy style is more comfortable for longer periods of time when you have the support of a sex pillow."

7. Legs-Up Missionary, Ankles on His Chest

Woman lying on her back with the WildNightX pillow under her hips while her partner supports her raised legs

The deepest angle here. Of all the best deep sex positions, this is the one where her feet are the brake.

How deep: the deepest on this list.

Where the pillow goes: under her hips. Her legs go up, ankles resting on his chest.

How she sets the depth: her feet on his chest decide how close he comes. Bending her knees lets him in. Straightening them holds him back.

Ease off: she lowers her legs to his waist. Now you're back in #3.

Tip: warm up in #3 first. Come here when she says so.

P.S. New to the best sex positions for deeper penetration? Start with #3 so she can find her depth with her hands. When she wants to lead, try #1. The pillow stays where it is, and so does her control.

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The Best Sex Positions for Deep Penetration Are the Ones Where She Sets the Depth. Here Are 7 Positions Where She's in Control, and One 27° Pillow Holds the Angle…

Note: Read this BEFORE you try the best deep penetration sex positions on a flat, soft bed!

1. Reverse Cowgirl, Hips Raised

2. Recliner Cowgirl, He Lies Back on the Wedge

3. Elevated Missionary, Her Hands on His Hips

4. Butterfly at the Bed Edge

5. Seated Lotus on the Wedge

6. Pillow Doggy, She Rocks Back

7. Legs-Up Missionary, Ankles on His Chest

P.S. New to the best sex positions for deeper penetration? Start with #3 so she can find her depth with her hands. When she wants to lead, try #1. The pillow stays where it is, and so does her control.

WildNightX Pillow Specs at a Glance

Where the WildNightX Falls Short

Best Sex Positions for Deep Penetration FAQ

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