How to Increase Female Libido:
5 Reasons She Wants It More When Sex Feels Easy
Written by the Couples Edit
Wondering how to increase female libido? Start here: for many women, desire shows up after things feel good, not before.
She loves him. She really does. She just never feels like it first. He reaches for her. She freezes for half a second. Then comes the guilt. Hers for not wanting it. His for asking. One Reddit user wrote what so many women feel:
"I wish I was horny a lot more often"Shared on Reddit
She misses wanting it. That's the part nobody sees. And it's not only her. Another Reddit user said:
"in our mid to upper 30's now and i don't want our best sex to be behind us."Shared on Reddit
Here's the good news. Her desire isn't gone, and it's not her fault. It's waiting for sex to feel easy and good again. And that part, you can change at home, together.
So what really brings her desire back?
How to Fix Low Libido in Women: 5 Reasons Desire Comes Back
1. Her Desire Often Shows Up During, Not Before.
Many couples wait for her to be in the mood first. Then they wait some more. Sex therapist Stephen Snyder wrote in TODAY:
"Desire ordinarily comes and goes in a long-term relationship so if you wait to feel desire before having sex, you might end up waiting a long time."Dr. Stephen Snyder, sex therapist, in TODAY
For lots of women, the mood comes once things start to feel nice. So say yes to a kiss or a cuddle, and see if desire follows. If it doesn't tonight, that's okay too.
"My wife felt very comfortable using it. In fact, she became even more excited and enjoyed the experience more than we expected."
Faisal A., Verified Buyer
But what if every touch already feels like a request?
2. No Pressure Means She Can Enjoy Every Touch.
When every hug might lead to sex, it's easy to stop hugging. Then the small things fade too. One Reddit user wrote:
"when it goes away people also stop flirting, quit kissing and making out, don’t snuggle as much"Shared on Reddit
Bring those back first. A long hug. A back rub. Kissing with no plan. Intimacy in marriage isn't only sex. When she knows a kiss is just a kiss, her body relaxes. And a relaxed body is where wanting starts.
"I flirt with my husband now"
Sandy
And what if sex itself is the part she dreads?
3. Nothing Hurts, So She Stops Bracing.
Nobody looks forward to something that hurts. Urologist Kelly Casperson told TODAY:
"One of the big reasons that women stop being sexually active is pain with penetration."Dr. Kelly Casperson, urologist, in TODAY
Some pain needs a doctor. But a lot of it is the setup: a sore back, achy hips, holding her hips up on a flat bed, bed pillows that squash and slide.
Fix the setup and she stops bracing for the next move. One reviewer of a wedge pillow wrote that after a hard few years, "I was afraid our sex life had seen it's better days." The next line: "But now. . . We are back in action baby!!!"
"We tried it out the day it arrived and it was everything we hoped it would be. It relieved and eliminated any stress on the back for her."
Bob N.
So how do you make it feel good, not just okay?
4. How to Make Sex Feel Better: Get Her Hips to 27°.
On a flat bed, she has to arch and hold her hips up to find a good angle. That's work. And work is the opposite of desire.
The WildNightX Pillow does the holding for her. It tilts her hips to 27° and stays there. You reach the spots that feel best. Her back rests on firm foam. She stops thinking and starts feeling.
Her breath gets quick. Her legs start to shake. And when sex feels this good, she starts wanting it again. Sometimes she's the one reaching for you first. See the 27° pillow couples use →
"It works great! I love how it put my hips at different angle!"
Sarah H.
But won't the same routine get old again?
5. Something New Wakes Desire Up.
The same thing every time is hard to look forward to. Sex researcher Emily Nagoski told TODAY:
"It's really important to find out what turns you on, and find out what turns your partner on, and then create contexts in which those turn-ons can be maximized"Emily Nagoski, PhD, sex researcher, in TODAY
New doesn't have to mean wild. A new time of day. A new position on the pillow. Or the FREE Blindfold that comes with every WildNightX Pillow. When she can't see, every touch is a small surprise.
Bundles add a Leather Handcuff too, if you're both feeling brave.
"the angle is just right! We use this pillow far more frequently than I expected. We are both very pleased!"
Tricia M.
To Be Fair: Where It Falls Short
No pillow is perfect, and this one isn't either. It comes in one size and one color (gray). The cover is only lightly water-resistant, so lay a towel down on messy nights. The cover goes in the washer, but the foam core doesn't. And the 30-Day Guarantee is shorter than some brands advertise, so read the return policy before you order.
So can a pillow really help her want it more?
Here's the honest answer. It's not medicine. It won't change her hormones, and it doesn't treat anything. What it changes is how sex feels: easy on her body, steady and good. For many women, that's exactly when desire comes back.
- 27° Lift. She Just Relaxes.
- Easy On Her Back And Hips.
- Grips The Sheets. No Sliding.
- FREE Blindfold Inside.
$45 Off + A FREE Blindfold Today
Now $124.95 $169.95. A free Blindfold comes in every box. Bundles add a Leather Handcuff while gifts last.
Backed by the WildNightX 30-Day Guarantee. Ships in discreet packaging with no product or store name outside. Deals change often, so check the product page for today's price.
What Buyers Are Saying
"Thank you for creating something that brings couples closer and makes their intimate moments even more enjoyable."
"It did the trick! It helped me be in a position that didn't feel like I was getting stabbed."
"We love ours! It doesn't strain my husband's back!"
Join 27,000+ couples. The WildNightX store has 4.8 stars on Trustpilot, from 190 reviews.
How to Increase Female Libido: Your Questions
What is low libido in women?
She wants sex less often than she'd like, or less than she used to, and it bothers her or the relationship. It can happen at any age. Low libido in young women is real too.
What causes low libido in women?
There's rarely just one reason. Common causes of low libido in women are stress, poor sleep, sex that hurts, the same routine every time, and medical things like hormone changes, some medicines or health problems.
How to help low libido in women as a partner?
Take the pressure off and don't take it personally. Ask what feels good. Slow down. Pick up more of the load at home. Small touch with no strings helps more than asking for sex.
What helps with low libido in women at home?
Rest, less pressure, a longer warm-up, a setup that doesn't hurt or strain, and something new together. A firm 27° pillow helps with the setup part.
Does low libido after menopause change things?
Often, yes. Women's sex drive after 50 can change along with their bodies. If sex starts to hurt, tell your doctor. A pillow that takes the strain off her back and hips can make it easier.
When should she see a doctor?
If low desire came on suddenly, comes with pain, started after a new medicine, a baby or menopause, or simply worries her. That's how to fix low libido in women when the cause is medical.
Is the pillow easy to hide?
Yes. On the bed it looks like a throw pillow, and it ships in discreet packaging with no product or store name outside.
Advertisement. For adults 18+. This page is general information, not medical advice. The quotes on this page are real reviews and real public posts. Star ratings are the reviewers' own. The expert quotes come from published interviews and do not endorse any product. The Trustpilot rating covers the whole WildNightX store. Prices checked November 2026.